Keith Lightfoot Blogosphere

It is easy to be ungrateful and unhappy, everybody knows how.

When somebody asks you to list your faults, you probably find it an easy task; because we are all prone to focus on our weaknesses, rather than our strengths.

Try it right now! Take out a piece of paper and write down the things you do not like about your situation, your life and yourself.

Most people find this a simple thing to accomplish so you will most likely have quite a long list.

Now try the opposite! Write down some of your assets, your unique attributes, your skills, your successes and the things you like about yourself.

If you find this more difficult, don’t worry, many people struggle to recognise their own abilities and gifts.

A typical list looks like this:

Negative
Too tall (or short)
Too thin (or fat)
Talk too much (or too little)
Nobody likes me
Hate my job
Not smart enough
Don’t look good in a photo
Hair too curly (or too straight)
Not enough money, too many bills
No girl/boy friend

Positive
Have a nice car
Health is OK
Job pays well
Great mobile phone

Here are some new suggestions for your “positive list”:
You can read and write English (millions of people would love to)
You are alive and able to be in “the poor photo of yourself”
You have a job and can get a new one if you want
You can read and learn more whenever you choose to
You can sing, you can laugh, you can cry, you can celebrate, you can morn
You can dream of a better life, you have hope, you have faith
You love people and they love you
You have friends and you have family
You have a God who accepts you unconditionally
You can look out the window and see the beauty in nature
You are special and unique, there has never been “you” before and never will be again
You are able to smile and make someone else smile
You are free to reach out to those around you and help them
You are capable and able to fulfil your purpose whenever you choose to

Next time you are looking for a miracle, go stand in front of the mirror, because “You are the greatest miracle in the world!”

Ask, and you will be given what you ask for. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Anyone who seeks, finds. If only you will knock, the door will be opened Matthew 7:7, 8

Raymond and Mary came to New Zealand via a government assisted immigration package to help colonise this far flung part of the new British Empire. Their two children John, aged four and Keith aged two, accompanied them on this long and sometimes painful voyage.

My mother always told the story of her arrival in this freshly birthed nation and how she wept on the railing of the boat as she saw the shanty towns and tin shacks that lined Wellington harbour as they sailed slowly into what was to become their new life.

For many years New Zealand trailed the world in some aspects of technology and television was only introduced to New Zealand in 1960 and finally arrived at our house in 1968. Because there was no TV to watch during much of our youth, our weekends consisted of spending time as a family, goofing off at home, fixing our old cars when we were older or watching dad constantly fix his car, hanging out with friends, heading off on picnics, kicking a ball on the beach, boiling the thermette on the side of the road and always-always drinking lots of hot tea.

When the weekend came, the idea of leaving our house to watch a live rugby game was unheard of, primarily because no one ever thought of the idea. Despite living and working in New Zealand, my parents were definitely still very English.

Surprisingly my brother John, played rugby quite well in his senior years at High School and even got a favourable mention in the local newspaper, I am not sure how he learnt the rules, maybe he spent time with his friends observing and discussing the game, maybe he just paid more attention at school than me.

When my turn came to play a “compulsory” High School sport, I naturally chose rugby, it seemed the logical selection given the success of my brother and that everybody else I knew was also in the team. Looking back I have come to realise that the first time I ever saw a whole game of rugby was when I was actually in it and it was certainly the first time I had worn shoes with prongs sticking out of the bottom of the sole.

You can imagine how bewildered I was on this paddock full of bristling young men, all running about in different directions, vigorously tackling each other, furiously kicking the ball, and generally leaping about, seemingly with no consistent pattern or intent.

The expression on our coach at my first practice still lingers in my mind after all these years, I sometimes wonder what he said to his wife when he got home after experiencing me! Part of his job was to decide what to do with this enthusiastic, scrawny blond haired, fair skinned nerd who seemed somehow fascinated by the simple act of walking up and down the sideline in his newly borrowed rugby boots.

It was finally agreed that I would play the position of Lock, maybe they thought it was the location where I could cause the least damage, and it certainly could not have been because of my size, speed or strength. We jogged about for a while at practice, then a scrum was called, some people disappeared and formed a line stretching across the paddock, others scrunched down and suddenly I was faced with the back side of seven pairs of shorts, all wriggling and squirming as the boys jostled one another for some advantageous position.

The coach looked at me, waited for a moment, and then said “Well! Get your head in there!”
I looked at the mass of jiggling young bums, looked back at the coach and said “Where?”
“In there!” he said, not quite so softly this time.
“Won’t they mind?” I asked timidly.

Eventually we managed to get my head in amongst all the other heads and the scrum began in earnest. People pushed, people grunted, swore, heaved, slipped, recovered, pushed again and scrambled for the ball with their feet. I just kept my head inside the excitement and watched with amazement. Then just as fast as the scrum was formed, it was gone!

Everybody scattered across the stud tattered grass, some running in groups, some seemingly running alone, people were yelling “Pass the ball”, “Go Bruce!”, “Come on!”, then the whistle sounded again and it was back to the scrum of many bums.

At one point in the game, or it might have been one point in the season, I was standing in the middle of the paddock, or recovering from a mad ten metre dash to absolutely nowhere, when the ball actually floated high in my direction, I glanced about, nobody seemed to be near, I vaguely heard the throb of approaching rugby boots and voices saying something about leaving the ball alone; this was to be my proudest moment!

Steadying myself and keeping my eye on the tumbling ball, I captured it cleanly in my arms like a true professional and simultaneously called at the top of my voice “Mark!” Then I waited with a suppressed smile for the accolades and respect of my team mates. The sound of the whistle blowing meant nothing to me until the referee yelled “Off Side!” very close to my ear, which was swiftly followed by my team captain scowling as he passed and saying ”Just leave the ball alone Lightfoot, don’t touch it!”

Bewildered and hurt I handed over my precious leather ball and went back to running needlessly and aimlessly about the paddock, always making sure I was far enough away from the action to avoid any damage.

Fate interjected during a future game and once again I found myself alone and in direct line with the cascading ball, the sound of thundering shorts were not far away, but it was time to make a swift decision. Using superb balance and poise, and remembering my past lesson, I stepped neatly away from the ball and watched as it bounced and rolled away, finally to be swept up by the heaving mass of hairy legs and overflowing testosterone.

When the whistle finally stopped play, my team captain sauntered over, his muddy face matching his clothing, scowled again and said very loudly “Why the heck didn’t you catch the ball?” Then walked back to the centre of play. The rugby season was one of the longest few months of my life. I felt lost and alone, never depressed, but certainly confused, mainly because I could not figure out how everybody else seemed to know what to do.

Looking back after all these years, I have come to realise that there are two very important lessons in all of this.

All of us are guilty at some point in not asking for more clarification when we know in our hearts that we should and also for not taking enough time to make sure the person we are coaching truly understands what we are saying. To ask for more explanation is seen as a weakness in many of us, so instead we bumble our way through our career, social and family life, only to recognise that things could have been very different “If only we had asked and asked and asked, until we understood!”

My coach and my captain had no possible way of knowing how little I knew, and nobody bothered to find out. They would have assumed that any boy growing up in New Zealand would at least know the fundamentals of rugby. It is worth remembering that there was no television, or computer games that a person could watch to even get a visual overview of the game. There was no blackboard or paper discussion with diagrams and explanations regarding the movement of the players.

When one is embroiled in the game, the only view you get is the people closest to you and the row of bums during each scrum formation. Whenever I watch Braveheart I am reminded of how little perspective the sword wielding warriors actually have of the bloody battle once it commences.

People use the expression “You can’t see the wood for the trees” and it is extremely important to step-back occasionally from your personal and business life and take a moment to really see where you are heading.

To this day I maintain (tongue in cheek) that “I could have been an All Black” if someone had taken the time to mentor and coach me.

Footnote:
I was fortunate enough to speak at a motivational seminar in Brisbane in 1997 and took the opportunity to invite my old school friend and “fellow Lock” to listen to the talk. The “school boy rugby” story was part of my presentation and I could see him laughing with the audience as I unveiled the truth about our time together on the paddock.

As we drank coffee afterwards I said to him “I bet you did not realise how bad at rugby I was until you heard my story tonight?”

He looked at his wife, smiled a wonderful smile and between bursts of laughter he said “Keith you should have heard what we said about you in the changing rooms!”

It is probably just as well I did not!
Authors Note:
This story is included in my book “Thank God it’s Friday” (www.thankgod.co.nz)
©2010 Copyright: All Rights Reserved 

When we walk to our mailbox, we can be assured that someone will be asking us for money, either by way of an invoice, a credit card statement or a glossy mailer offering “never to be repeated” discount goods.

Our motivation to clear the mail is often fueled by our hope that a friend may have sent a postcard, or a family member has remembered a special occasion, or perhaps our spouse has slipped a beautiful note into the mail to remind us that we are loved.

A simple greeting card can change our mood for the day. The moment we see a greeting size envelope, we begin to feel better, we eagerly rip open the tab and smile even before we read the words.

The same effect is true for a postcard. No one ever sends us an invoice via a postcard, so we always anticipate good news when we spot a postcard amongst our mail.

This leads me to suggest that it is often the “receiver” and not the “sender” that determines the mood of the message and this “mood shift” is now happening hourly via our mobile phone instead of daily via the traditional mail service.

Text messages have become part of our everyday life and I have witnessed anger and joy first hand through the simple receipt of a new text.

I have watched couples break up, families celebrate and good friends become enemies all via short seemingly innocent text messages.

The trouble with text messages is that they carry no voice inflexion, no smile and no emotion (other than the emotion of the receiver). There is no chance for immediate clarification or feedback. Plus the messages have to be short and therefore often lose their original meaning as we struggle to fit them into the confined parameters of our mobile phone.

A text message scenario starring Bob and Betty Koenesburg:

Bob has allowed himself to fall behind on his schedule at work and is often a little short tempered during his time at home, especially when Betty insists on constantly asking him to complete some well overdue tasks around the yard.

It seems to Bob, that Betty does not appreciate just how busy and how important his career is to him and to the family. After all, he only stays at work after hours in order to provide a better life for Betty and the children, or so he tells himself.

Bob leaves for work on Tuesday as usual, enjoys another long laughter filled lunch with his work mates and is now sitting alone in the darkened office attempting to concentrate on his work, but when observed closely, is actually spending more time on Facebook and other online activities. He is feeling guilty, frustrated and stressed at his situation, but does not want to go home to another evening of accusations.

Betty has decided to patch up the relationship, to recognise Bob’s efforts and see how she can help him work through some of his urgent tasks. She whisks the children off to grandma for the night, lights some scented candles and makes a special dinner for two.

Betty is excited about the evening and makes one last pass through the house, fussing over the dining table layout, the music and the little things that she knows Bob will enjoy. Meanwhile, Bob is becoming more agitated with his inability to focus and is only staying at his desk to avoid dealing with Betty, although he knows in his heart that she will already be angry because he is late home.

At 7.00pm Betty decides to send a quick text to Bob so she can heat the food and pour the wine. She smiles as she stirs Bob’s favourite Pasta dish and innocently sends a short simple, loving text “What time will you be home?” she is puzzled and slightly angered by his immediate reply of “When I am finished!”, so she sends him another short message, this time not quite as friendly.

I am sure you can complete the rest of this scene by yourself!

Text Tips:

Be very careful with your text messages, especially to people you do not know very well and even more careful with people you do know very well

If in doubt, read them out loud to yourself, with a monotone voice, no voice inflexion and try to see if the message could be misread.

Avoid being funny unless you know the person is guaranteed to see the humour in your text.

Make an effort to pick up the phone and speak to people more often. A few cents a month spent on phone calls rather than free text messages could save your marriage, your friendships, your career and your sanity.

When you receive a new text, try to see the message from the other person’s perspective, work through some alternative meanings before jumping to a negative conclusion, then call for clarification.

Christmas Tips:

As a receiver of gifts, make an effort to recognise the feelings and generosity of the giver, rather than applying your own thoughts and expectations into the package.

Be genuinely grateful for anything that comes your way and be especially grateful for the company of your friends and family during this special time of year.

Happy Holidays!

Murphy’s Law states: “If something can go wrong, it will, and at the worst possible time.”

Why do people accept and adhere to this principle of life?

Surely it would be more advantageous to adopt Napoleon Hill’s principle of living:

“In every adversity lies the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit”.

Napoleon’s philosophy of life has become my “philosophy of life” ever since I read “Think and grow rich” and I am forever grateful for his advice because it has served me well over the years.

We are all mature enough to realise that things will go wrong from time to time, but why constantly speak their existence into reality, why go through life with an expectancy of impending disaster, why look for trouble when it will find you all by itself.

Surely a more pleasant and enjoyable outlook could be achieved by looking for a positive outcome in every experience.

It is not necessary to develop a Pollyanna perspective of the world (Pollyanna is a best selling 1913 novel by Eleanor H. Porter that is now considered a classic of children’s literature. The novel’s success brought the “Pollyanna” (along with the adjective “Pollyannaish” and the noun “Pollyannaism”) into the language to describe someone who is cheerfully optimistic and who always maintains a generous attitude toward the motives of other people.), I am merely suggesting making an attempt to see adversity from a different standpoint.

Your life is full of every day miracles, some that happen so often that we forget their majesty, some that will never happen again in your time on this planet; yet we are often so caught up in the ownership of items made by nameless robots in a production line, then discarded in our re cycle bin years later, that we do not allow ourselves the opportunity to witness our own experiences.

Every sunrise and sunset is unique, every rainbow is an example of  perfect circular arc, every snowflake that you curse on your way to work is a one-of-a-kind, that look of innocent wonder you witnessed in your child yesterday may never occur again, the flower that emerged from the bud just outside your window this morning as you watched the infomercials on your TV, the stunning array of stars in the night sky blotted out by your new outdoor barbecue lamps and the spider that weaves a seemingly impossible web in your garden, all escape your notice because you are busy-being-busy trying to conform to the standards subtly imposed by the media, your work colleagues and your closest friends.

Have you ever noticed whenever you travel overseas that everything seems more interesting, the trees seem more beautiful, the houses more curious, the birds more colourful, the shops more inviting and the food more nutritious?

Take a moment to consider the notion that perhaps it is you and not always the environment that is causing all these new sensations of colour and beauty.

Recently I was privileged to attend the wedding of two great friends and as we sat in the sun, sipping cool wine in a secluded corner of the garden, I suggested we all step back for a moment and allow the colours, the laughter, the scent of the flowers and the sensations of the environment to become apparent. It was interesting to witness the reaction of people once they took a little time to really see the world that surrounds them.

The next time you step into your vehicle, make a conscious decision to become a tourist in your home town, even just for a day.

This will sound easy, but requires some effort on your part. Speak to yourself as you drive along and imagine you are in a new country or city for the first time, try and notice everything no matter how small.

You will be stunned at the intensity of the images that pour into your awakened mind that day; you may even feel like stopping and taking a few photos of the trees and gardens just a few hundred metres from your home.

I still remember the first time I tried this.  The experience was so overwhelming that tears welled up in my eyes as my familiar surroundings deliberately became unfamiliar.

We often marvel at people like photographers and painters who are able to capture the simplicity of life and transform it into something truly astonishing.

I am convinced that these ordinary people transform themselves into extraordinary artists by becoming consciously aware of their surroundings and actually taking notice of the experiences of life available to all of us.

You are only alive on this earth for a fraction of a second, in relation to the time this planet has been in existence, so why not make an effort to enjoy every day and in doing so, you can uplift the spirits and hearts of those closest to you.

We have entered the 21^st century, we have conquered the moon (although some people dispute the reality of the landing), we have embraced technology in every aspect of our personal and business lives, and yet we still cannot get past the smoke and mirror of many computer hardware and software suppliers.

The general public have always had trouble dealing with computer sales people and computer consultants, and for short time maybe there was some justification due to the small number of computers users, smaller number of trained technicians and lack of knowledge in the industry.

Yet here were are only a few weeks from Christmas 2009 and nothing has changed!

There is a classic French quotation “plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose” … “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”

We have simply moved our focus from mainframe computer discussions to personal computers, communications and website discussions. Everybody is an expert or nobody knows anything and most people are just confused and frustrated.

Acronyms for computer bits (a word formed from the initial letters of a name) continue to be invented and marketed, and spoken about as if they are real things. Computer specialists are often highly paid, some provide great service, some seem intent on annoying the customer and unfortunately the industry still has a bad name.

Sometimes the infraction is completely innocent due to inexperience or excess testosterone (in the case of a male consultant) and sometimes it is deliberate in the under selling of a computer solution that could never actually do the job.

Not listening to the customer’s requirements during the initial meetings is one of the major causes, resulting in assumptions about hardware or software capabilities or possibly someone did not ask enough “hard questions” during the scoping process. 

The more customers (and business owners) I speak to, the more I hear the classic tales of woe. Massive cost overruns, extended deadlines, not enough resource, lost data, slow connections, complete confusion, loss of revenue and real anger.

There are always exceptions to the rule and across every profession there are individuals who stand out as being truly interested in the outcome and who are prepared to take the time to explain clearly (in non-computer English) exactly how it works and the associated benefits.

These people have become my friends because of “who they are and how they treated me as a customer, consultant or business associate”. The list is completely biased (only my point of view based on my limited personal experience after forty years in the industry) and probably not complete.

During my time with Telecom I came across a softly spoken gentleman named Roly Rogers, CEO, ECONZ. Roly has a huge amount of knowledge in the area of communications and wireless technology, yet is able to relate to people with no computer experience and explain his services.

In my endless search for an SEO expert (think “lots of smoke and mirrors” for this category) I found Stephan Spencer from Netconcepts. Stephan is recognised internationally as an authority on SEO, but more importantly he also able to sit down one-on-one and explain to anyone how it works. Stephan runs a very popular and very informative blog on SEO with some excellent videos and downloads to explain the process.

My favourite individuals in the website development category are Mike Baddeley, Wired Internet Group and Stephan Spencer, Netconcepts. For spam filtering I can recommend Nick Bolton, Firetrust to provide a no nonsense email washing program to filter all unwanted messages from your computer.

Most computer retail stores have at least one truly informed salesperson (often the owner) so it is important not to just accept the first offer, unless you have been referred by someone you trust (and that person has actually bought from the recommended person).

Some basic tips on buying a personal computer:

1. Always buy more capacity, features and speed than you need, stretch your budget a little, because in 12-24 months new software, high resolution photos, operating systems and connected devices will begin to drag your computer down
2. Buy an established brand; eg. Dell, Apple, Hewlett Packard, Sony, Toshiba
3. If you are buying a laptop/notebook take the extended warranty option. Unlike a desktop computer where technology bits can be individually replaced, laptops tend to have lots of components squashed together to minimise size, so when one piece stops working, the whole device becomes useless without a complete heart transplant (sometimes more than the cost of a whole new laptop)
4. Don’t be afraid to ask lots of dumb questions before you buy it, you can learn from each salesperson and you can judge how they answer your questions and how they treat you
5. Keep backup copies of your important documents, photos, music and email on CD, DVD, memory card or external disk. The computer will fail one day, it may be years before it dies or a few weeks after you bought it, and it will give you no warning.

We all go through life looking for people to trust and people we can relate to, in business and in our personal sphere of influence. They are often more difficult to find that we might have hoped and when we discover one, we hang on and recommend them with great enthusiasm to our friends and family.

My entire career has been in and around the computer industry, initially as a long-haired computer geek and lately as a going-grey computer geek. I have met and worked with literally hundreds of computer people yet I am only able to name a handful of business owners who will always do their best to provide accurate information.

It is up to each of us to do the very best we can in our chosen profession, to always try to see the problem from the other person’s perspective, to remember that our knowledge and experience is different from theirs and to make sure that we treat everybody with courtesy, grace and integrity.

I truly hope you are on someone’s list of recommendations.

Napoleon Hill tells the story of riding home with his grandfather on a horse drawn wagon.

As they ambled towards home, they came across a well dressed stranger with a superior attitude who decided without invitation to jump onto the wagon as they passed with a “give us a ride, hayseed!” remark as he climbed aboard.

Napoleon’s grandfather said nothing and soon the silent trio had left many miles of dusty road behind them.

When they reached home and turned in toward the barn, the man leapt off and said “Hey, how far it is to Big Stone Gap from here?”

“We-ell”, said his grandfather, “if you start walking back the way we came, it is about twenty miles. If you keep going the way we were going, I’d say it’s about twenty five thousand miles.”

When my mother (Mary) died, she left me with three things:

1. Her passport showing her physical passage through the world
2. Her well read copy of “Think and grow rich”
3. Her last words; “Don’t die with your dreams inside you Keith!”

Mary touched many people through her life, my friends always felt part of our family, she shared our meagre possessions and food with those she could, and she made sure we knew we were loved and made to feel special.

The early part of my adult life was filled with friends, cars, music, motorbikes, girls, and far too much testosterone. I worked hard in my computer career and played hard in the evenings and in the weekends.

There was no doubt that my life was picking up speed and that my assets were becoming more tangible (I think the current term for this is “bling”) and my attitude more “all knowing”.

It is easy to climb aboard the “most popular wagon” with all of our friends and become part of the majority of people who have absolutely no control over where the wagon will go or at what speed.

Mary’s death and the subsequent reading of Napoleon Hill’s classic book caused me to begin my journey into the study of positive psychology and to re think some of my goals and dreams.

One of my most alarming discoveries was to discover that approximately ten percent of the population own and control the wealth of the world we live in.

Even with my rudimentary grip of mathematics I could see that “my well meaning advisors” were likely to fall into the ninety percent category and that my upbringing had saturated me with this style of average-Joe thinking.

There have been moments where the comfort and familiarity of the old wagon seemed tempting, and I have even sat on the worn wooden seat and rested for a while.  But after a few miles of mindless bouncing along the dusty road of nowhere, surrounded by comments of despair and helplessness, I have gladly slid off again and re focused on my purpose and passion.

You have the freedom to “jump off” whenever you choose, to select your own destination, to walk the road less traveled and to use your time on this world to make a real difference in the lives of others, and in yourself.

It is just a decision away!

Arise My Soul is a song of personal discovery, passion, friendship and unconditional love.

This is the title track of the No8Whyre Album.